Season of Service, Summer of Spark

After many “Think Days,” I’ve decided to take the summer off- in terms of looking for a job. I couldn’t justify leaving one just to jump right back in doing the same things. I’ve always viewed getting laid off as an opportunity to explore not only the world around me but figuring how to best achieve the goals I’ve set for myself.

The good thing is I know what I want to be doing in my life.

I want to be a writer. It’s tough coming up with new ideas and going over old ones and fleshing them out into something I can share with others. But whether it’s working on my blogs or on the more creative projects, I’m making strides with my writing- at a snail pace progress, perhaps, but there’s definitely a forward momentum.

I want to promote literacy. One of the ways I’m doing this is through volunteering. Throughout the summer, I’ll have regular shifts for the Children’s Book Bank and the Multnomah County Library as a Search Assistant and as a Summer Reading Volunteer.

I also want to challenge myself in interacting with different people and situations- like I did when helping out with Potluck in the Park (feeding the homeless) or the Tualatin Riverkeepers (canoeing to clean up rivers) and, more recently, “getting artsy with refugee kids” at Katari Park. Even dealing with kids for Summer Reading will be interesting considering I’m not around them as much.

Trying new things is a great way to gain new perspective and perhaps generate new ideas. I’m debating on doing more volunteering but I also don’t want to spend money on bus fare to get there and back.

I’ve been wondering if I should even share this decision because it probably sounds foolish. I’ll be the first to admit I’m kind of scared with all the uncertainties in my life right now. This is an extreme act of faith, believing that everything will work out fine. Already just by letting you guys know, whoever may be reading this, I feel I’ve made the right choice, that this is the best and right thing for me to do.

So, here’s to a season of service, a summer of spark. Here’s to Life!

May Changes

May was a transitional month. My grandfather died, as I mentioned Remembrances.

I reached (and surpassed) my goal to volunteer 100 hours for 2012! I’m definitely looking forward to do more.

In extremely exciting news, I am now a Friends of the Library Board Member. I can’t wait to help them be the awesome support system they are! (The library measure passed. I was hoping to vote during the May election but I’m still waiting for my citizenship.)

I also got laid off. I likened it to senior year of high school with graduation just around the corner (having given two weeks of advanced notice.) There’s this sadness that I won’t get to see and talk to the people I’ve gotten to know over the years on a daily basis. But I know I’ll keep in contact with them. And, I’m glad I’m leaving the company on a positive note and I wish it nothing but success.

There were a lot of festive moments with co-workers during this time. I attended probably one of the best parties of my life. I had been wanting a backyard barbecue and that happened. I got to toast my first ever s’mores. There was also a trampoline… And, of course, the people there were awesome. A fun time was had by all.

Another silver lining of this situation is I feel excited about what the future holds- all the possibilities out there, all the adventures that are waiting for me.

Remembrances

My grandfather died in mid-May. For three years in a row now, a family member of mine has passed away. You would think dealing with loss of a loved one gets easier the more frequently it happens but each one is as earth shattering and heartbreaking as the one before. And every time you have to figure out to be fine again.

One of my last (lasting?) impressions of him was just how strong he was. He suffered a major stroke when I was still living in Las Vegas. When he recovered from that, I remember walking with him around the hospital. I was amazed by his ability to bounce back like nothing happened.

And, I haven’t mentioned this before but a few months ago, my sister’s grandmother passed away, as well. I didn’t feel like I had the right to mourn since I wasn’t really a part of her life. But I think everyone who crosses our paths leaves some sort of impact in our lives. As a kid- and growing up,- I’ve seen how welcoming, loving, and caring she was to everyone.

I wish I could be there for my family and everyone affected by these events. In our memories of the people we’ve lost and in the ways they’ve helped us be who we are, they’ll always live on.